Trust us, we know it’s not easy to figure out what to talk to your girlfriend about when she’s upset — after all, we are guys who can’t seem to figure out the opposite sex no matter how much time we spend with them. But, just because we can’t decipher her, doesn’t mean we should just throw our arms up in frustration and storm out of the room. No, caring for a woman means patience, humility and listening, even if it is difficult to understand why she’s upset in the first place.
To help try and unravel the root of some of these frustrations is actress Brooke Burfitt, who’s here to tell us what men should do when your lady says those two daunting words: “I’m fine.” We all know she’s not fine, hell, she knows she’s not fine, yet she says it to test us and see if we’re committed to the whole patience, humility and listening thing we mentioned above.
What to talk to your girlfriend about when she’s upset is, and always will be, one of the trickier things for men to figure out. We can restore a car from scratch or build a log cabin with our bare hands, but, no matter how hard we try, we’ll never truly understand what makes a woman happy. But, don’t worry, because that’s what Brooke Burfitt is here to help us out with, fellas.
FHM: As Men, It’s Pretty Hard To Read What Women Think, Would You Agree?
Brooke Burfitt: “What are you saying? When we say we’re fine, we’re clearly not fine! When we don’t respond for a few hours, it’s obvious we’re interested and making you wait. And when we say we need space, we’re actually screaming out for you to hold us tight and tell us there is no one more special in the world. Isn’t that obvious?”
FHM: Let’s Start With The Never-Ending Phrase, ‘I’m Fine,’ WTF Do Women Really Mean By That?
Brooke Burfitt: “The word ‘fine’ is used because it’s not even a real emotion. You don’t say it when you are happy and you don’t say when you’re sad, it’s simply used as a test! The fact you asked if we’re okay, means you clearly know we’re not. So, when we say we’re fine, we just want to know if you genuinely care. If you don’t care, then you won’t want to find out what’s wrong. But if you are concerned with our feelings, you will keep asking until our response is a genuine one. So when we say we’re ‘fine’, what it really means is, ‘I’m not OK, but are you bothered?’
FHM: So Now That We’ve Got That Outta The Way, Can You Help Us Out And Decode “Women Talk” For Us?
Brooke Burfitt: “Well, being the voice of ‘women’ is a little daunting, but let me see if I can help you out. Part of our curse and our beauty is our insecurity. You might get frustrated that your girlfriend needs constant validation and reassurance, however, you probably enjoy the benefits of having a woman who looks up to you and adores you. With that comes insecurity. So ‘women talk’ involves either fishing for that affirmation we need, or getting upset that we have to fish for it. We don’t feel we have to tell you exactly how we are feeling on the nose, because, as the closest person to us in the world, you should surely know what we’re thinking. I guess… that might be a little unrealistic, but, hey, we think you’re perfect and know everything.”
FHM: Now That We (Kinda) Know What They Mean, What Can A Man Do After His Lady Says Those Two Little Words?
Brooke Burfitt: “If you like this woman and those two words come out, then you need to put down that phone, turn the TV off and write off the next couple of hours, because you need to focus on her until she is actually ‘fine’. If she says ‘she’s fine’ and then you walk away, then you really will have problems!”
<script async defer src=”//platform.instagram.com/enUS/embeds.js”>FHM: Is It Best To Press And Get A Reason From Ladies After They Say ‘I’m Fine,’ Or Let Them Be?
Brooke Burfitt: I would say you need to press. When she says ‘I’m fine’, it’s because she thinks you will trivialize what she is upset about, but by pressing to know more, you are showing that her emotions are valid to you. And when she feels accepted, she feels loved. That sounds logical, doesn’t it?
FHM: OK, So Dude F’s Up And Makes His Lady Mad, How Can He Make It Up To Her?
Brooke Burfitt: I love receiving flowers, but not if it’s after he’s messed up. You don’t want to associate nice romantic gestures with when you had issues. Nobody wins, because she won’t be grateful and every time you do a sweet gesture, she’s more concerned with what you’ve done! So forget the gifts. Focus on having a night in just the two of you, where you can talk, laugh and play. Making an effort to block out the world and enjoy couple’s quality will be greatly appreciated and a reminder to her that you can get through any little tiff.
Brooke Burfitt plays a fame hungry kidnapped celebrity in the movie, By Any Means. The film is available on Amazon Prime, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu and many other platforms.
Lead image provided by Brooke Burfitt.
See more pics and advice on what to talk to your girlfriend about from the lovely Brooke Burfitt below, and make sure to follow her on Instagram.
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Image via Brooke Burfitt
FHM: If We Do Try To Get A Reason Out Of Them, What’s The Best Approach: Questions Or Listening?
Brooke Burfitt: “If she’s opening up, then listen! That’s all you need to do to show that you care. It’s quite likely that you may have said something that could be misinterpreted, or something said innocently, but has triggered an insecurity. Instead of trying to rationalize, say sorry and meanit. She may one day talk about something that is a sore subject for you, and you would appreciate it if she apologized to make you feel better.”
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Image via Brooke Burfitt
FHM: No One Likes Controversy Or Tension (Especially In A Relationship), So What’s A Pro Tip To Best Avoid Drama?
Brooke Burfitt: “I couldn’t agree more. I avoid tension and issues like a cat with fleas. I am definitely not in the camp that believes arguments increase passion. That’s why, if I am distant and I try to shrug it off, it means so much to have my man care enough to take the time to work out what is going on in that little head of mine! If you want to avoid problems, it’s best to nip things in the bud. Plus, be honest with yourself. If you are in love with this woman, you know what makes her tick. Try to avoid those!”
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Image via Brooke Burfitt
FHM: Lastly, What’s The Most Important Thing Guys Should Know When Dealing With An Upset Woman?
Brooke Burfitt: “Bottom line; if she’s upset, it’s because she cares. She’s hurt because she’s worried her world is going to fall apart, so you need to have sympathy. If she’s not upset, she doesn’t care. And, sometimes, that was an indicator to me in my past. Things that should have gotten me mad, didn’t! Sure, perhaps your lady might be particularly sensitive about things that you don’t think are a big deal, but the alternative is to have someone who lets you do whatever you want, most likely because that’s exactly what she is doing!”
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Image via Brooke Burfitt
See more photos of Brooke Burfitt by following her on Instagram
By Nick Dimengo
